it was written "last published on Apr 26, 2007"... it has been really a long time since i step into this blog... reason why i came back? well, it is because of a friend.. this friend of mine has ignite my passion to begin writing on this blog again. this friend had reminded me that i once had this blog.. this friend has reminded me how silly (or innocent) i once was... this friend has reminded me that i was once like him... well, it might be strange all of a sudden why this friend become so important to me that i have to blog about it... but i do know that i am not a good friend... i have disappointed this friend of mine and perhaps it is one of my biggest regret i have in my life....

i believe no one will ever read my blog and hence this post should be 'safe' from stranger's eyes. how can i be a person that i do not hurt anyone? i just wanna be fair to all people around me. sometimes, i feel really tired to be who i am... and i am not even sure if i am hurting people around me... i thought i was sensitive, but perhaps i am not... but then again, i was just trying to be nice... but somehow it seems that being nice to someone will in turn hurt that person more... what a dilemma... suddenly i feel that the more i write, the more i do not understand what i am writing... this is really getting frustrating ... i just wanna say if at any point in time that i had hurt you, please forgive me... i don mean to hurt you or make you unhappy in the first place... i want to protect you, i want to see you smile, i want you to be as pure and innocent as possible... i know i am demanding or perhaps i am giving you pressure... but do not feel that way... i just like the way you are now... someday, u will understand and you will change for the better (not that you are not good now)... but i believe you will be better in future... i will always be there for you if you need me.... this i promise you...

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

lol i think he does sing with some feel. it touches my heart. this person is called shawn(i had a friend called shawn too haha) i hope he wins. all the best!

just watch naruto and i realise that the ending theme song of the naruto shippunden ed is extremly nice. haha. it is called shooting star in english, Nagareboshi in Romanji or 流れ星 in kanji.

it was so nice that i went youtube to search of their songs -.-" and well, this is wat i found out..

there is an english version of it



and this is the original band singing the song!



subsequently, i went on exploring wat other songs the band has and it seems like their songs are pretty good. here are some of their works.

this is quite cool featuring a pretty actress in the mv.. haha..

seems like a long time since i blogged, haha has been really busy this few days.. there are projects, reports, tests, presentation, homework, tutorials and lectures.. must life be like this everyday as an engin student...? i am not sure.. but i just need to know that i need to keep going.. somehow i feel that my directions are totally lost and i am just following the flow.. a flow that i, myself, am not sure of where will it bring me to.. but i will truely say that results at this pt of time is no longer important to me.. anyway i came to this conclusion since one year ago.. there are many pple who are fighting so hard to get wat they want at the cost of many things.. i don wanna be like them.. i just want to be simple, nice and happy..

talking abt happiness, so wats true happiness in life.. to be happy means at least u are satisfied with all that u are doing. it is like a drug that triggers certain sense in yourself and u feel good i guess.. happiness does not last and it is subjective. to a begger on the streets, as long as he finds shelter and some simple food, he will be happy. to a uni student, i am sure that the feeling of satifaction=happiness is totally different. lets talk abt results, there are so many who wanted to get full marks and if say they cant achieve that, they will be complaining or showing that he is so dissatisfied, discontented and dissapointed.. wats the point.. i will be happy if i can pass and if say i get above average, i would praise the lord for blessing me..

well, how i wish that i can continue on this.. but i got a bp meeting to attend at yih.. i guess to sum it all, if happiness means satisfaction and self contentment in life, i guess we humans will never be happy as we are never contented...

it has been so long i stepped into this blog.. so much things had happened.. things that i wouldnt want(or perhaps dare) to say in this blog.. how many pple actually understands how i truely feel.. i am not sure.. who would be there when i am really in need.. i don know either.. perhaps i didnt voice out my feelings.. but no one ask.. things are not as simple as it seems.. it is also not as complicated as u percieve.. so y am i writing all this craps.. y..

i think i need to be strong.. i need to brave through all these by myself.. there is no one to help me except for myself.. y must i always be so weak at the most critical moments of my life.. i wish that i can live my life in desolation but i know that is impossible.. i have to endure the realities of life, the cruel facts basically..

currently, i am in a midst of a macromedia flash course in sch. the teacher is now yanking awaying, teaching the class on how to create motion tween.. oh btw tomorrow is my birthday.. i am not sure where will i be going.. no programs so far.. perhaps i will have to spend it by myself.. that will be great too.. will be at xiaolings birthday party tomorrow evening too.. haha issnt it werid that it is actually my birthday too but i will be attending my friend's bday party.. well no one knows either so nvm.. haha..

i am feeling a bit sick now.. giddy basically.. don know y.. perhaps i will go and rest a while.. take care friends..

"When you come to the edge of all light you know, and are about to step off into darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of the two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly..."

just saw this on an email sent to me by narssera and i thought that it is very nice so i decided to share it with my friends.. perhaps i feel that this quote relates very closely to my heart.. and this is to all who feel the way i do..

and i thought so, that this video is quite touching too..



Girl you know I miss you so
I didn't know you had to go
You've had enough of our distance baby
Before I had the chance to say
I'm staying with you
For the rest of my life Oh Oh~

Don't keep telling me these words
You don't know how much it hurts Woo
And I'll promise you eternity
If you promise me your stay
But now it's too late
I'm no longer the man that I was

I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song

Don't keep telling me these words Oh no
You don't know how much it hurts Woo
And I'll promise you eternity
If you promise me your stay
But now it's too late
I'm no longer the man that I was Wu~

I will go on without her Wu~
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song Woo
Oh yeah I know I don't know
Baby I am know I'am a foul

And I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song

This is our song without a soul
Now that you're gone
What's left of us in this song

well this is the time that i will be doing duty in the library and i guess that this will be the only time for the week that i will be blogging bah.. work has already piled up and i really need to complete them soon, if not it will be like the last 2 sems like that.. no time to study for final exams.. so for those who have been catching my blog.. i apologise in advance haha..

things have not been really smooth for me recently, but i told myself that i would not blog it here because this is a place for me to keep my happy memories and to share all goodwill with my friends.. so i shall forget all unhappiness i haboured in my thoughts.. *deep breath.. argh.. i hope i feel better...

last thurs evening, i had dinner with 2 of my very good friends from sec at IMM. it has been a very long time since i met up with loy and ber and there were lots to catch up.. we ate MOS for dinner and surprisingly, i realised that i have beed going to MOS quite frequently for the whole of last week.. i had MOS on last last sat with xiaoli at orchard as she wanted to drink the coffee shake, MOS on thurs with loy and ber in IMM, and MOS on last sat at bugis with aaron and dillon boy at bugis.. it has been since a very long time i have been to MOS, it reminds me of the times in sec and jc as loy and i used to visit it quite often to eat and study.. haha..

yup so after our dinner we went to daiso as ber wanted to get something for his tutee and i went watson to get toner for my face.. lol.. hope that it works.. though i do not have much pimples in the past but i am having enlarged pores now.. i also don know y.. maybe is that i don always wash my face and the natural oil acummulates and resulted in the pores of my face cannot breath and thus enlarging it as they are trying hard to catch breath.. (this is a deduction i came out myself.. haha..) so for those who don wash ur faces, beware.. go go clean it everyday... remember prevention is better than cure..

soon after that we drove back to loys hostel as he got block supper, oh btw loy bought dark choco for the mud pie he made for supper.. sad to say, i didnt get to try it.. haha.. then, we chatted from 9 plus till 2 am in the morning in his room.. weiye was there as well, a friend whom i have met for the 2nd time.. quiet, courteous, sensitive and nice person i thought..

all in all, it was a great time spent and i never felt like this since a long time..

btw, i receive colours award from nussu! it is an award given to the nus students who had make significant contributions in sch and ccas.. seriously speaking, i really not good enough to recieve this award.. someone actually norminated me without me know it.. haha.. thank u issac! i am really very touched.. =)