it was written "last published on Apr 26, 2007"... it has been really a long time since i step into this blog... reason why i came back? well, it is because of a friend.. this friend of mine has ignite my passion to begin writing on this blog again. this friend had reminded me that i once had this blog.. this friend has reminded me how silly (or innocent) i once was... this friend has reminded me that i was once like him... well, it might be strange all of a sudden why this friend become so important to me that i have to blog about it... but i do know that i am not a good friend... i have disappointed this friend of mine and perhaps it is one of my biggest regret i have in my life....

i believe no one will ever read my blog and hence this post should be 'safe' from stranger's eyes. how can i be a person that i do not hurt anyone? i just wanna be fair to all people around me. sometimes, i feel really tired to be who i am... and i am not even sure if i am hurting people around me... i thought i was sensitive, but perhaps i am not... but then again, i was just trying to be nice... but somehow it seems that being nice to someone will in turn hurt that person more... what a dilemma... suddenly i feel that the more i write, the more i do not understand what i am writing... this is really getting frustrating ... i just wanna say if at any point in time that i had hurt you, please forgive me... i don mean to hurt you or make you unhappy in the first place... i want to protect you, i want to see you smile, i want you to be as pure and innocent as possible... i know i am demanding or perhaps i am giving you pressure... but do not feel that way... i just like the way you are now... someday, u will understand and you will change for the better (not that you are not good now)... but i believe you will be better in future... i will always be there for you if you need me.... this i promise you...